Anniversary and Type 1 Diabetes Sucks and Cure Please

Today is my diabetes anniversary.

A year ago I was diagnosed with a chronic auto-immune disease that impacts every hour of my life. I decided today that I wasn't going to default like usual and write a light, funny and smiley post about diabetes. I do plenty of that. I decided this because sometimes I worry that I may not truly be portraying the whole picture of what it's like to be a person living with type 1 diabetes in my daily life and on this here blog. I feel like from the outside, it may look easy. That from the outside it may look easier than other diseases. You know cause for the most part, type 1 diabetes can be an invisible disease. If it wasn't for glimpses of my insulin pump and medical ID bracelet, most people wouldn't know that my body is any different than any other healthy 20 something year olds. They can't see with their eyes that my body cannot stay alive any longer on it's own without daily medical treatment. They can't see that my body is dependent on a medication to stay not only healthy but alive everyday. They can't see that a medical emergency constantly but quietly hangs over my healthy looking body.

"Well Courtney, but why does it really matter if type 1 diabetes looks easy or not to people who have functioning insulin producing beta cells?"

I say, it matters a lot. You know why? When things look easy, they have the opportunity to be put on the back burner. I don't want a cure to be put on the back burner because someone with type 1 diabetes looks healthy enough or normal enough from the outside. I don't want a cure to be put on the back burner because type 1 diabetes doesn't look "bad" or "life threatening"  enough to the American public (who most don't even know that there is more than one type of diabetes) to really crank out a real cure.

I want a cure, because this disease sucks. I want a cure because I don't want anyone I love to have to live with this disease.

So I would like to cheers my first year with diabetes with an Internet toast.... cheers to the reality of type 1 diabetes being properly recognized and to a future cure, maybe not in my lifetime but in someone else's life time.

Tonight I'm going to celebrate a hard ass year by going out with Mr. Hubbalicious and stuffing my face with some amazing desserts. and I'm going to maintain amazing blood sugar numbers while doing it.

Diabetes sucks, misewell make it cute.

Amen.

The annoying thing about type 1 diabetes isn't just that one of your vital organs doesn't work anymore, but it's also that EVERYTHING related to type 1 diabetes is lacking in attractiveness. From the shots to finger pokes to medical ID's to carrying cases to extra tubing hanging around it's all just bland and blahh and medically sterile. and since I can't do anything to change the fact that blood comes out of fingertips when I poke them rather than glitter and sparkles, I give diabetes an infusion of cuteness through mainly accessories. Let me show you my most recent contribution to increasing my own personal diabetiliciouness.

First, let me show you the standard diabetes medical supply/carrying cases that the medical world/diabetes supply companies/"the man" provides as options to people with diabetes. Here's a standard glucose meter case.

Umm, I don't know about you but that's not what I consider a good time.

"But wait Courtney! You can attach and wear that "classic" looking glucose meter case on your hip. Easy access!! We have included a loop on the back of the case to allow for you to slide it right onto your belt. It's so convenient for you." -Manufacturer in my imagination, example below.

Manufacturer, that's just mean. I would rather go outside and find a stick and then take that sick and use a butter knife to widdle down a pointy tip and then use that jagged tip to poke my finger to draw blood to check my blood sugar over and over again rather than wearing that case on my hip in public for 5 minutes. Convenient my diabetes butt.

Here's what I suggest as an alternative.

It's my new D-bag. Cosmetic cases from Target. There's two but the little one fits in the big one. See, cute.

The little plaid bag is for my glucose meter, lancet and test strips.

and the red medallion bag carries everyday type 1 diabetes stuff that needs to be with me all the time (insulin pens, extra insulin pump supplies, emergency/life saving stuff).

and diabetes just got cuter.

A Day with Type 1 Diabetes: Insulin Pumpin

Back last March, I did my first "A Day with Type 1 Diabetes" post. At that time I was doing multiple daily injections therapy, which ended up usually being between 8-10 shots a day. Good times. Now, I'm an insulin pump therapy girl. If you've read my blog any other time before, then you know how much I love my insulin pump compared to multiple daily injections.  Let's just be dramatic for a minute and let me say that my insulin pump changed my diabetes life. Now, let's not be dramatic and say yes, my daily life with type 1 diabetes still isn't normal but my life with type 1 diabetes is now less intrusive compared to before in my very important humble opinion.

 

First, let me officially introduce you to my pump. and I'll do so by posting an awkward picture of me posing with it.

Ok cool.

 

It was a Friday..........

 

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1am - This diabetes day started early. Before bed at around 11pm on Thursday night, I checked my blood sugar and it was 46mg/dL. That's really low (normal range for typical people is 70-120mg/dL). So I ate 4 Starbursts to raise my blood sugar back up into a good safe range and went to bed. At around 1am I woke up and laid there and thought to myself "Did I wake up cause my blood sugar is low or did I wake up cause AJ was moving around?" I didn't feel like my blood sugar was low but decided to check it. It was 53 mg/dL. Low again. I said a little thank you prayer for waking up and then ate 4 more Starbursts.

 

 

9am- I know you're thinking "Courtney, you don't wake up till 9am?" I was sick this day and canceled any obligations I had the night before. Checked my blood sugar 103mg/dL. Perfect!

 

 

 

 

Then I made coffee and before I drank it I grabbed my pump and typed in how much insulin I wanted it to give me and pushed ACT. The pump then starts pumping the correct amount of insulin into my body through a little tube that is already inserted into the skin and fat of my stomach.

 

 

Noon - I'm hungry for lunch and decide that since I'm sick cough cough that I should go get Panera to help make me feel better. I look up the nutritional info of the meal I want at Panera so that I will know in advanced how much insulin to tell my pump to give me before I eat. I'm just concerned with the red circled carbohydrates number.

 

 

Before I hop in the car, I check my blood sugar again to make sure it's in a safe range to drive. 101 mg/dL = great.

 

 

Right before I eat, I type in the number of grams of carbs I'm about to eat into my pump and have it calculate the amount of insulin I should take.

 

 

2pm - I check my blood sugar about 2 hours after eating lunch to make sure my number is good. It was 112mg/dL. I like that.

 

 

6pm - I tend to get low blood sugar around this time of the day since it's around dinner time. I wasn't planning on eating dinner for another hour but check my blood sugar just to see if my body was good. For some crazy, unexplained reason (diabetes can be very unpredictable) my blood sugar is a little, little high at 123 mg/dL. This is crazy to me since I haven't eaten anything since around noon today. It may just be running higher than normal this time of the day cause I'm sick. Who knows. So I tell my pump to give me a little insulin to bring my blood sugar down a bit.

 

 



7pm - Friday's date night around here. The 3 of us head out to dinner (AJ, Court, and pump).

 

Dinner consisted of lots of insulin, I think I told my pump to give me about 8 units. I had to guess on how much insulin I needed because the restaurant we went to doesn't provide nutritional information about their meals. Pretty annoying. Oh and dinner also consisted of a really cute man.

 

8:30pm - After dinner I had to check my blood sugar to see how accurate my guessing was.

129mg/dL I'll take it! but I did tell my pump to give me about a unit more of insulin to bring my blood sugar done a little more.

8:45pm - We went and got ice cream. Ice cream is my most favorite food in the world but it is really hard on my blood sugar. So when I do eat it, I have to take lots of insulin and check my blood sugar at least once every 20-30 minutes for at least 2 hours after I finish eating it. It takes a lot of work to safely eat it but it's always worth it. So I ended up checking my blood sugar 4 more times before bed after eating ice cream.

9:15pm - We got home and AJ wanted to check his blood sugar for fun because he was curious to see what it was after eating ice cream for a typical person. His blood sugar was 112mg/dL. Why don't you and your working pancreas brag about it? I then decided to make it a competition and check to see what my blood sugar was compared to his. Mine was 103mg/dL. Win for the artificial pancreas.

 

 

9:45pm - Another blood sugar check

10:15pm -Anther blood sugar check

10:30pm - When you're married you can happily go to bed at 10:30pm on a Friday night. I check my blood sugar once more before bed and it's a low 61mg/dL. So I reluctantly shove 3 glucose tablets in my mouth. Glucose tablets taste like huge Smarties. The last thing my body wanted after eating ice cream was sugar tablets.

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There it is! What a day with type 1 diabetes can look like with an insulin pump.

 

love,

the 2 of us

 

A Message to Diabetes

Diabetes you're gonna come in here and kick my ask? I'm gonna kick your ask.

Positives and I'll Deal with its of Type 1 Diabetes

D-Day=A little over 6 months ago

Positives

-I have this amazing new ability that allows me to either 1) know the number of grams of carbs any type of food has 2) look at a plate of any food placed in front of me and predict the number of carb grams that the plate has. It's like I have ESPN or something (shout out Mean Girls). This is a great party trick/get to know you game. Try me. Your mind will be blown. Boom.

-I can not be a grazing eater. I can't just snack and eat mindlessly. This is such a positive! It is so good for my health and weight! Noone should just sit in front of the tv eating randomness and not thinking about how many calories or carbs or fat they are putting in their body. Type 1 prevents me from doing this because I have to mentally be aware and calculating pretty much everything I consume or else my body, health and life are at risk.

-I am so intuned with my body now. I can feel when somethings not right and I know how to fix it.

Yeah, that number doesn't feel good.

-I never go hungry when out and about. I'm also the best person to sit beside if we are going to be somewhere for a long period of time. You know why? Cause my purse is always full of "just in case my blood sugar is low" snacks. If at a concert, graduation, speech, long roadtrip etc. those sitting next to me have the happiest bellys.

My purse on a normal day

-Being diagnosed with diabetes has made me feel vulnerable. Vulnerable in the sense that life is so fragile. Vulnerable in the sense that I am not in control. and it's ok. When you find yourself vulnerable and lacking any control in life it makes you grasp onto who is truly in control. It allows you praise the small things even more than the day before and allows you see the bigger things as even bigger than you could ever had imagined. What a blessing!

I'll Deal with It's

-My poor little calloused fingertips. I check my blood sugar between 8-10 times a day. That's a lot of poking, bleeding and healing going on leading to some tough and dotted fingertips. Not cute.

Well earned battle scars.

-Lots of doctor's appointments and blood tests. We are constantly getting co-pay notices in the mail, it's just never ending and expensive.

-Permanent medical equipment attached to my body. It's just annoying. But the positives of my insulin pump far far out way the annoyances of it. I will say that the most annoying part of my pump is when people think it's a pager. NERD ALERT! Who where's a pager. It's embarrassing to think that people could be thinking that I'm rocking a pager circa 1996. Yeah and my closet is also full of bright colored legging shorts and oversized sweatshirts. People seeing I'm wearing an insulin pump=not embarrassing. People thinking I'm wearing a pager=embarrassing.

Umm this looks nothing like a pager.......

I know it totally does.

-I've picked up this bad habit of drinking diet sodas. Before betes, I drank soda, both diet and regular, maybe 2 times a month total. I just didn't drink it very much cause newsflash: it's not good for you. With type 1 diabetes, I have to give myself insulin before I consume any carbs. "Well but Courtney, aren't breads, pasta and candy the only foods with carbs in them." No. No sir. Almost everything has carbs in it. Vegetables have carbs, fruit definitely has carbs, anything that is made with flour has carbs, chicken nuggets have carbs, lots of salad dressings have carbs, milk has carbs, wine has carbs, yogurt has carbs and so on. All these carb things, require me to calculate in my head the number of grams of carbs they contain and then how much insulin I need to then give myself before I eat them in order to prevent my blood sugar from flying high. You know what doesn't have carbs. Diet sodas. Diet sodas are one of the only "treat" like things I can put in my body without having to think about insulin. Being able to shove something in my mouth without having to think "I wonder if this is going to mess up my blood sugar?" is soooooo freeing. It makes me feel normal. I now drink 1 diet soda a day. I don't like that I do this.



-Dealing with the ignorance's of people. I tell ya, people just don't know what type 1 diabetes is. and it's totally ok to not know what type 1 diabetes is. That's completely fine. I don't know about a lot of diseases. You know what I do when I don't know enough about something? I either ask intelligent questions about it or I keep my mouth shut and don't say anything about the nothing I know. It is not ok to make comments about diabetes when you are not well enough informed to have a non-ignorant opinion.

-I very much dislike that Type 1 Diabetes and Type 2 Diabetes are grouped together. They are two completely different diseases. Yes they involve the same organ but the cause, treatment, maintenance and risks are so so different. I'm totally on the bandwagon that they should have completely different names. My life as someone with type 1 diabetes is completely different than the life of someone with type 2 diabetes. Nothing makes my blood boil more than someone comparing my disease to someone who has type 2. I'm sorry but I have a hard time relating to your 62 year old grandmother who has type 2 diabetes and checks her blood sugar maybe at the most once a day, takes medication orally in the morning and just has to "watch" her sugar intake. My day is a little bit different. My life is a whole lot different.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying the type 2 diabetes isn't a serious disease. It is a very serious disease. But it's just different.

Is that normal?

Is it normal that I have this burning desire to get type 1 diabetes pun t-shirts made and wear them around?

In my mind this is the best idea ever. It sounds like a blast!

This idea entered my mind the other night through a pin on pinterst (as many great ideas do).

I saw and repinned this pin.

This pin was the funniest thing in the world to me at that moment. "So so funny!" I thought. I couldn't wait for Aj to get home so I could share this saying with him. I thought "He is going to roll over in laughter." and yes he did also get a good chuckle out of it like a good type 3 diabetes husband should.

So I'm not going to explain to you why this is the best type 1 joke ever if you don't get it. If you don't get it you don't get it, if you get it you get it. Because you know, they always say that if you have to explain a joke to someone then it's not funny anymore.

I want this on a t-shirt, minus the wolf. I don't get the wolf part.

I would wear it around very proudly. and giggle as people asked what it meant.

The best part about type 1 diabetes for me is finding ways to make it funny and laugh about it. Diabetes isn't fun, but laughing is always fun.

Pump Questions

Over the past 2 weeks, I've been getting asked lots and lots of question about my insulin pump. and I love questions, I really do. I'd prefer someone ask me a question and allow me to give them the correct/real answer than them just going on assuming weird/wrong/crazy things.

and since we all know that:

     1) There is no such thing as a bad or stupid question (Not true. There is such thing) and
     2) If one person has a question then 20,000,000 other people also have the same question

I am going to answer some of those questions here in photographic detail. Cause words are only so fun. Pictures are where the party's at. You're welcome.

Question: What is actually in you? How big is the tube?

This is all that's in my body. A little cannula. Look hard, it's tiny. It's very flexible and I can't technically feel the tube in me. If I feel anything, it's usually just tenderness or a little soreness.

Question: So how does the tube get put in your body?

I put a new infusion site (little cannula (picture above) attached to tubing that's attached to the actual insulin pump) in myself every 2-3 days. With this thing:

Short story is, I load that thing up and pull a little lever thing back and put it against my skin (where I want a new site) and squeeze the sides and BAM! It sends a needle that has the tube wrapped around it into my skin. I pull the needle out and the little tube gets left in. and stays there for about 3 days till I rip it out and do it all over again in another location on my body. It sounds scary. and it is. But really it barely hurts.

Question: How do you take a shower or go swimming?

I just disconnect my pump. It takes half a second.

That pink thing just clips off. and I'm just left with this...

It's just like a round band-aid. I can do anything you can do. Only better. Just kidding. Not really. No I'm kidding. Kinda. I kid. I kid. But I can keep my pump disconnected for about an hour and do all types of crazzzzy stuff.

Question: What's left when you take out an old tube or change the site?

Nothing. I just rip off. Just like a band-aid. and I'm left with this.

A little dot. A well earned battle with type 1 scar.

Question: Does it just put insulin into your body on it's own when you need it? Do you still have to prick your fingers?

I wish the pump did all that by itself. I have to tell it when to give me insulin and I still have to check my blood sugar all the live long day to make sure my body is as "normal" as possible. Hopefully one day research will result in that kind of technology where I pretty much have an artificial pancreas that does everything on its on. Fingers crossed!

D-bag

My tongue went numb so I knew my blood sugar must have been really low. So I start yelling to Aj:

"I need my D-bag, get my D-bag, I need my D-bag right now!"

I check my blood sugar, yup I'm low.

As I suck down a juice box I can't help but giggle.

"Hehe dbag"

Don't be that guy.

Below is a post from a great type 1 blog called Six Until Me. Read it. The endings a blast.


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"Miss? Your seat belt is stuck to your ... hold on now ..."
The guy on the other side of the gas pump leaned in and peered at me while I was gassing up my car.
"I'm sorry?" I asked. "My seat belt is stuck?"
He was talking to me, but staring directly at my arm, where my insulin pump infusion set was nested into the back of my arm, the tubing snaking underneath my sleeve and to the pump on my hip.
"I thought it was your seat belt but it appears that you have a ... a big thing on your arm?" He smiled, bringing his eyes back to mine. "I'm assuming you know about this ... thing already?"
I laughed. "I am familiar with it, yes. It's an insulin pump. I have diabetes. It's okay." (I don't know why I always add that caveat of "It's okay," or "I'm okay," to every moment of disclosure.)
"Ah. You must have it bad, then."
"I don't know anyone who has it 'good,' but I use the insulin pump instead of taking insulin injections. it's good for me." I answered, finishing with the gas nozzle and capping up my gas tank.
"Well that's good, then." He finished up with his truck. "I didn't mean to pry - I just thought you were stuck to your car by the seat belt, and I didn't want you to hurt yourself walking away."
"Thanks. Have a good day!"
"You, too. And just remember - if you eat well and exercise, you might be able to come off that pump sometime and be less of a burden on the healthcare system."

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Loser say what?!?

I, like most people with type 1, take care of and am in more control of my body/health than the average person. 100% fact. My life 24/7 revolves around my health, my good health. Does yours?

I don't know who to blame for comments like that. Media? Healthcare system? Toe nail size brain?

Please don't be that guy. Ignorance doesn't look sexy on anyone.

You know what does look sexy? Being healthy. and my insulin pump helps keep me healthy.

That's sexy.

Then I realized every song is about insulin pumps and dead pancreas

First off, what's the plural form of pancreas? As I wrote the title of this post I stopped and thought pancreases, pancreas's, pancreasues..........I have no idea. If you held a gun to my pancreas and told me to guess or you're going to shoot, I would say shoot it, it doesn't work anyways. and then I would say that I would have to guess its pancreases.


But do you know what I have realized during the past 2.5 months of diabetesliciousness, every song is either 1) about type 1 diabetes of 2) can be made to sound even better when it's diabetes related.

Don't believe me. I'll prove it.

Song 1 - Over You by Miranda Lambert

For the country music loving diabetic. Listen to the chorus. It's so obvious.

bold=Courtney's perception

But you went away (Pancreas died)
How dare you?       (Excuse me, your a vital organ, kinda need you to be a little more responsible)
I miss you               (I don't like you much right now pancreas, but I do miss you)

They say I'll be ok   (The doctor's)
But I'm not going to  (No no no it's not ok, it's not ok to this broken hearted girl Mr. Doctor)
Ever get over you      (I will never get over what my pancreas did)

Enjoy it for yourself.

Want more proof?

Song 2- Have you heard that awful song by Toby Keith called "Red Solo Cup." It's the most ridiculous song in the world to listen to, mostly because Toby is pulling a Madonna and acting like he's young, wild and free. Toby you are not young, wild or free. You're a grown man. Put down the solo cup and pick up a pilsner glass. That song would sound a lot better to my ears if the words were changed a little bit......

Insulin pump

I fill you up

Let's have some cheesecake and other carbohydrates

I love you insulin pump

I hook you up

Let's have some french fries and other carbohydrates

Here's the original not as good as Courtney's version. Sing my lyrics with the chorus, it goes perfectly.

Start at 33 seconds in.



Song 3- and your final example is a little song called "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard. Yes, yes metal fans. This song is actually about having extremely low blood sugar and begging someone to just give you some sugar, just give it too me, I don't care how you give it to me, why don't you just pour some sugar on me. Pour some sugar on me in the name of love. Please.

That's very obvious.

I should really be doing homework right now..............................................

BAM!

Notice anything different?

Besides that I look like a sweet innocent baby angel.....

Look hard.......

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!!!

I hope you enjoyed these pictures because they will be the only "taking pictures of yourself in a mirror with a cell phone" I will ever take.

Yeah buddy, I'm officially pumping.

That little thing is pumping insulin into this girl 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

and cause I like my diabetes with a side of TMI, here's what the infusion (connection) site looks like

A little cannula (tube) is all that's inside me

Yeah I know pink. Loves it!

and I am completely in love with my insulin pump so far.

Special Delivery

I received a special delivery!

My insulin pump arrived!!

This little piece of medical equipment will be delivering insulin to my body. It's going to be a lot more convenient and allow for a lot more flexibility in my life. It's going to take me from currently doing around 8 shots a day to 1 shot every 2-3 days. That's ah nice.

Feel like Christmas morning much?!

Medical goodies

Let me introduce you to Penelope, my pump. She's a little thing, right?

Now I just have to wait patiently until she and I can be hooked up....